Severus Snape and the Holy Fanfiction
by Empress T'Pau
Summary: Monty Python and the Holy Grail Spoof! I love these! Join our favorite character Sev Snape in teh search for the Holy Fanficiton and the First Season DVD OF Seinfeld!LOL! R&R!


Disclaimer: I DO NOT OWN any rights to "Monty Python and The Holy Fanficiton" and or " Harry Potter". This is all for fun and no money is being made from this story. This is a simple fan fiction any resemblance to actual events or locales or persons, living or dead, is entirely coincidental.

**Read this!**

Author's Note: I'm baaaaack…. another note: Whenever you see an **" "** next to something think of the most dramatic or corny background music that you can…k?

Enjoy!

_(Dramatic heart wrenching music)_

The Time for the Best fan fiction ever written has come  
Only one story can bring to light so many themes as to  
Inspire an entire generation. A composition so rich in  
Description that it uses art not words to portray itself  
A fan fiction that will touch the core of the human soul

This is not that Fan fiction…

MaijaEntertainment

Presents

_Severus Snape and the Search for the Holy Fanficiton_

The morning fog had set itself thick upon the land of old Scotland, (Hollywood soundstage). The sound of horse hoofs could be heard galloping in the twilight of the dawn. Out of the feathery fog came Severus Snape, his arm outstretched as if holding reins and other hand slapping his butt in beats.

Behind him came Argus Filch who held two shrunken heads (I couldn't stand that Jamaican shrunken head) beating them together, in order to make the horseshoe sound. Mrs. Norris perched on his hunched back looking out for dangers.

" Whoa there!" Snape said pulling back. Argus came to a halt, which threw Mrs. Norris off Argus' back…. the power of inertia.

" What is it Professor Snape?" Asked Filch.

" Behold it is Hogwarts where our quest for the Holy Fanficitonshall begin!" Snape said gallantly holding out his wand.

" Where is that music coming from?" Argus asked looking around, " Its bloody annoying!"

" Come Filch, do not question the whimsical ways of the narrator/author, now come along."

" Will we find any nice wenches here?" Argus said as Mrs. Filch got on his back again. Snape looked at Filch with a disgusted stare.

" Not now Filch our quest for the Holy Fanficitonis more important."

And off they went to Hogwarts where their destiny was about to unravel itself.

* * *

The old granite phoenix stood guard of Dumbledore's office. On opposite sides of the Dragon stood the red headed twins with impish grins.

" Halt Severus Snape what is your business?" George Weasley said stopping Snape from proceeding into the office.

" Apparently none of your business." Said Snape.

" Eh..no..no.. you cannot just waltz in there, we need a password!", Fred said glaring at Filch.

" I do not know how about Teletubbies?" Snape said.

" Nope afraid not, hey you there Filch is it? Where did you get those shrunken Jamaican heads?" George said pointing a finger at the heads dangling from Filches hands.

" What does that have to do with anything?" Snape said frustrated.

" Shut up you! I am asking him." George snapped at Snape.

" I dunno, just happened to have them." Filch said as Mrs. Norris hissed at the boys.

" Are you implying that they simply came out of no where like magic?" Fred said incredulously.

" You know, maybe they migrated here." Filch said scratching his head.

" Are you saying that shrunken heads can migrate?" George said.

" If they are carried by birds, a parakeet perhaps." Snape said.

" That's impossible," Fred said interjecting, " there is no way a five ounce bird can carry two ten ounce shrunken heads, not even by magical standards."

" True that my brother, the wind velocity of a regular parakeet---

"Enough!" Snape said cutting off George, " I need to talk to Dumbledore, I have a quest that I must complete."

" What is that quest?" The twins said.

" The quest for the Holy Fanficiton!" Snape said, " Now let me in!"

" You silly man, your mother was a Hamster and your Father smelt of Elderberries!" The twins replied, and the Phoenix began to spiral upward revealing the stairs.

" Fred you said the password."

" It was not my fault!" Fred yelled back at George.

" Away we go Filch!" Snape said sticking out his hand and 'riding' his horse up the stairs with Filch faithfully knocking both shrunken heads.

* * *

Dumbledore looked at Snape with amusement as he entered his office.

" Ah, Severus Snape I see you have come here with your mighty steed." Dumbledore rose from his chair.

" Indeed Albus, I have come here for aid in my Quest for the Holy Fanficiton!"

" Ah, I see, but how did you come upon this mission?"

" Behold Albus I was wandering in the woods just this morning, when the clouds departed and the beautiful apparition showed herself unto me, saying, behold Severus Snape I am the Author and I command you to look for the Holy Fanficiton. With this Fanficiton you shall spread the words written within it to all in the land."

" I understand the importance of your mission now Snape, and now we shall go and find those whom shall serve as companions on your quest, anon.

" Then let us be off!"

* * *

And so Snape and Albus went to search for those who were brave enough to search for the Holy Fanficiton, and soon the Fellowship of the Holy Fanficiton was formed. And thus Minerva McGonagall, Professor Flitwick and Professor Lupin along with Albus and Severus went on this quest.

And with them went their mighty steeds, Hermione, Harry, Ron, and Malfoy, who were all given the gift of shrunken heads by Filch, whom had so graciously taught them the art of head knocking.

" Where go we now?" Minerva said as Hermione crouched up behind her.

" We need to find directions!" Flitwick said.

"**_You shall receive them from me!" _**said the Author, **_" SEVERUS, you shall lead your fellowship through many lands, first you must pass these three tasks in order to prepare yourselves to receive the Holy Fanficiton! The first one will be the test of courage; each one of you MUST go to the Star Trek Convention and hit on at least TWO people."_**

"NO!" Severus said.

" _**Don't interrupt me! Secondly all of you must all sit through one screening of "Gigli" that Jlo movie. That would be the test of endurance. And last and not least you must all go and play Ten Fingers, this will be a test of purity. And then only then will you be allowed to pass the bridge, which separates you from…THE HOLY FANFICITON!"**_

" Such torture, and all for what? For some written piece of Fiction by a prepubescent fan?" Lupin said.

"_**You shall also receive the first season of Seinfeld on DVD."**_

" Now that's worth seeing "Gigli"!" Snape said.

And thus the Author went away and left them with several tickets to the next Star Trek convention.

And our heroes gracefully lifted out their arms and began to spank their butts with their mighty steeds close behind.

" Why did we ever agree to do this?" Malfoy said beating his shrunken heads violently.

" This totally bites!" Ron said.

" Because we'll have and adventure!" Harry said happily.

" Harry?" Hermione asked.

" What is it Mione?"

" Shut Up!"

* * *

So did you guys like it? I hope so, I'll post soon!" 


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